Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)

From the Box: "A Vietnam Vet savagely slaughters his cheating wife and her lover, his parents and his pet bird. Years later, a team of specialists researching the mating habits of a rare species of bird stumble upon a sinister blind man and some angry feathered fiends. Soon, the dead rise and a vengeful winged terror swoops down upon the living!"

What You Get: It starts with a Vietnam vet finding his wife fucking some other dude, followed by death, birdicide, and eye gouging. Next throw in a dash of college students (much like so many other horror flicks), and just wait for the movie to end. You read the box and you expect a plague of the undead caused by a new form of bird-flu. My, how my expectations were sadly smashed. Zombies? Not really. Killing birds? I don't think so. Argh. Move on.

Origin of Zombies: never revealed

Zombie Traits: Staggered walking, rotting corpse appearance

Unzombie Traits: Super strength, non contagious

The "Heroes": College students trying to find endangered birds

Zombie Killing Weapons of Choice: None (though a gun was held at one point)

The Goals: Escape & survive

End Result: 2 survive, the rest die (not all by zombies either)

Zombie Rating:* (We hardly get to know or see tge zombies... 15 minutes shown at best)

Notes: 60 minutes before we get any zombies (and the movie is only 90 minutes), another 10-15 before it even resembles a zombie movie. Zombies choke, smash, grab, slam, pull (apart), but DO NOT bite and/or consume flesh. Despite the title, no birds are shown to kill (though we assume they do at the end), and it IS NOT a zombie movie (despite 2 zombie-like creatures appearing in it)

*If we got to see the zombies more we might know if they are or aren't zombie-like, so a rating of 2 is the best based on that knowledge... otherwise this would get a rating of 3 based on what little we saw.