Introduction....

What's really to say? This is where we at eyechaos.com rate and review movies. The only real thing to go into is the general criteria of our rating system (which of course is highly subjective, opinion based, and often biased)

Movie Ratings:

To begin with movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 (including halves), with 1 being garbage and 5 being fucking awesome.
Again, that's based on my opinion, so while some movie might be hailed as the greatest cinematic experience known to man, but it bores the shit out me I will rate lower not higher. On the flipside a movie critics crap all over might rank highly enjoyable to me and thus rate high up.
Second thing that's taken in is how much the movie makes sense, which is more like how many plot holes are there, really. Yes, that should be taken into account from the get go, but sometimes there are good movies that too often don't make sense, and bad movies that make even less sense. So much so that even a "1" can't begin to describe the crap that one goes through to sit through it.

example: Daredevil, which most non-comic readers agree sucked. Even fans of the comic thought it sucked. Me, I kinda liked it. Saw it opening night, and on first thought would've given it a 3.5. I enjoyed it that much. However later after thinking about it, discussing it with Daredevil and non-Daredevil fans, I decided there were aspects that bothered me. Like Daredevil being such a cold-hearted, willing to let a man DIE kinda guy. That sorta thing. Suddenly a 3.5 at best is now a 2.5.

Getting what I mean?

Here's how it really breaks down, by the numbers:

  • 0: Complete Shitfest, made no sense, plotholes up the ying yang and made me consider killing myself (or at least watching something better instead of reviewing it)
  • 1: Bad Movie. Really bad, I hated it, but at least everything made enough sense that I could focus on all the other horrible aspects of it.
  • 2: OK Movie. If it was on tv I might watch it, but if I got involved I would start asking questions about this, that, and the other thing.
  • 3: Mostly Harmless. You can enjoy, but you could also ignore it if you get distracted. There are alot of movies these days (mostly directed at teens and young adults) that fall in this group.
  • 4: Good Movie. A movie you seriously DO like, but even with that said there are things like plotholes, basic ridiculous premise, or other burning questions holding it back.
  • 5: Great Movie. You can sit back, enjoy, and when you talk about it later say nothing but positive things.
  • 6: Must See. The elusive, super rare 6th rank, specifically left for movies that everyone simply must see. So get over yourself and see it already.

Half points (which you'll see often, I'm sure) basically show up when a movie is better than one catagory but not good enough for the next, has only a few nagging issues, or personal preference elevates it in my eyes better that it deserves to be.

DVD Ratings: (or What Else Do I Get With This Movie?)

Again, this is 1 to 5 scale, though something bare bones with just the movie, a few trailers, and languages will be smacked with a 0.
This however is based on special features The more the better.
To break into catagories is thus:

  • Commentary
  • Deleted Scenes/Outakes
  • Behind the Scenes Featurettes
  • Short films/Mini-Documentaries
  • Packaging
  • Unique Special Features

I know, it's six catagories, but each catagory is rated (confusingly enough) on a 2 question basis: 1) does it have it (.5 pt)), and 2) is it even worth it (1 pt) Let's face it, most times the commentary is pointless, the deleted scenes should've stayed deleted, outakes aren't funny, featurettes are boring unless you're into that kinda thing, packaging is a waste of time and space, and there's nothing unique in this edition compared to every other edition.
And what of trailers, languages, and trivia/games? Only good if you're super bored, so not worth bringing into the final tally.

So there you go.

Note: All views and opinions reflect the reviewer, and should be only taken if you have the same taste and don't get uptight on it. Don't hate if you disagree, even if you spent money to find you disagree. Eyechaos.com rarely endorses any movie, so watch at your own risk.

Extra Note: Other reviewers may or may not share this criteria. If they have there own it will be posted here accordingly.